So What's My Name Now?

I never planned on changing my name when I married. By never, I mean this is something I decided around age 20. I had many reasons... for starters I'm an only child of an only child (my dad) and my father's father was the only son. So I was and now Jiana is the last of the Jacobs' in our line. While Jacobs isn't an uncommon name, there is something about having it die with you that's a little unsettling. I've also always considered it inequitable that women were expected to change there names and men weren't. There is also the whole thing about losing your identity, and the concern that a long lost friend wouldn't find me if I abandon my sir name. For better or worst, my name is tied to my identity and I'm attached to it. Even though in my not so active Buddhist practice, I strive mostly to detach from identity. But, that's a whole tangent for a future post.

So now I find myself a REALLY married women in my mid 40s (as opposed to a 20 year old imaging what it would be like to be married). At this juncture, I'm thinking differently. While I like the sound of my name, Genice Jacobs, I retain little nostalgia for my family of origin. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents tremendously. It was just our little triad of a family that I'm over. The Jacobs family is fragmented. Since their divorce 10 years back, my parents no longer speak to one another and there is just the four of us (the triad + Jiana) sharing the name for legal purposes. What's more, I adore my husband and our family is blended with way too many variants of last names. Ronald Edward Simenauer, Danielle Marie Leppert-Simenauer (w/ hyphen), Jonah Elias Leppert Simenauer (no hyphen), Jiana Hilda Jacobs and me with no middle name. So I got to thinking that if I added Simenauer to my name for social purposes and later changed Jiana's name legally to Jacobs-Simenauer it would add a bit more symmetry to our crew without forcing me to get a new passport or change the deed to the house. At the same time, Jiana could choose to carry Jacobs into her married name and keep it going. (not that I want to lay that trip on her.) Or she could become Jacobs-Simenauer-whatever.... We almost need to move to Mexico where long family names are the norm.

All this begs the question of how should you address our holiday cards. While, I haven't cleared this with Ron, I can trust that my progressive, easy going husband won't have any issue with any of the following.

The Jacobs Simenauers
Jacobs Simenauer family
Ron and Genice Jacobs Simenauer
or the ever popular Ronald Simenauer, Genice Jacobs Simenauer, Danielle Leppert-Simenauer, Jonah Leppert Simenauer, and Jiana Jacobs-Simenauer
Note to mom: if you feel absolutely compelled.... Dr. and Mrs. Ronald E. Simenauer will be ok too.

Please just remember that since my name will legally remain Genice Jacobs, all personal checks and inclusions in wills should be listed as such. So there you have it.